Part three in the on-going no-life having topics of making short evaluations and comments about old video games I barely play anymore. This time, it’s a joint-production for the original Sega Master System and Sega Genesis, since I only have about five games for the former.
Sega Master System:
1. Double Dragon:
The classic arcade beat-em-up. You control one of two “brothers” with goofy names, fighting an evil gang that kidnapped your girlfriend. Why not just call the Cops? I’d assume it would be a lot easier. The shortest game of the series, with only about 6 levels to over-come. Outside of bashing people with Kung-Fu, you can also pick up weapons dropped, including daggers and a whip. S&M! Pretty good game overall, but much better with a second player, since the difficulty was a bit too much.
2. Penguin Land
Basically a puzzle game. You must guide a Penguin and it’s egg down the screen, avoiding vultures, grizzly bears, and various other traps that can destroy your egg. You keep doing this for 60 levels or so. You can also create your own level and attempt to beat it, which is always fun. Just make sure not to set up a booby trap that is impossible to get by. I don’t think a sequel was ever made, and don’t think it was ever converted to the Nintendo Entertainment System, either.
3. Rocky
Yes, THAT Rocky. The guy who beat up black people and foreigners to be the best in the World. I picked this up for $5 at a Mom & Pop rental store I used to frequent a few years back. VERY Short game, though. You train, then fight Apollo Creed, train, fight Clubber Lang, train, and finally fight Ivan Drago. Each fight requires a different strategy. With Creed, you can just go in and bash him up. Lang is weak to body blows, and Drago is impossible to beat. I always get KO’ed by the 7th Round.
4. Walter Payton Football
Your typical football game for the time frame. The color scheme is all wrong for every team, no players are given names, and the view is from high above, and everyone looks like a spider rushing up and down the field. The only worthwhile part of the game is the fact it’s guy Walter Payton on the cover. Everything else is bust. See also: NFL for NES.
5. Wonder Boy III: The Dragon’s Trap
Probably the greatest game in the “history” of the Sega Master System. You control “Wonder Boy”, who is on the verge of destroying The Mekka Dragon. Before the Dragon dies, he “curses” Hu-Man (yes, I’m serious), turning him into Lizard Man. From there, you tansform into Mouse-Man, Piranna-Man, Lion-Man, and Hawk-Man en route to breaking the curse of the Vampire Dragon, hidden high above in the skies. Almost like the Legend of Zelda, except in side scrolling form. You must roam the land through various areas, some only attainable by certain characters (underwater is best suited for Pirrana Man, Mouse-Man can climb through small openings, etyc.) collecting armor, weapons, and money along the way.
Sega Genesis:
1. Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition
I’m sure everyone is familiar with the Street Fighter II game… and if you aren’t, where the fuck have you been since 1992? For those who DON’T know, you control one of various characters from around the world in an ultimate competition to see who’s the greatest fighter in the world. Selectable characters in the original game are Ryu (pronunciation varies, from “Roo”, to “Ree-oo”, but not “Rye-U”), Ken Masters, E. Honda, Dhalsim, Guile, Chun-Li, Blanka, and Zangief, with the bosses being M. Bison, Balrog, Vega, and Sagat (pronounced Sa-GOT, not as in Bob Sagat). In this version of many many many others, you can play as everyone, for those who dreamed of being one of the big bad bosses.
2. Mortal Kombat 3:
An apparent improvement over Mortal Kombat II, featuring a whole batch of new characters and bosses. However, I remember this game being a bit harder than the first and second, with a much faster engine and tougher A1, and a marked difficulty in pulling off a Fatality. You’re only given about 3-seconds to pull one off, or your opponent just dies without any fun. Some may recognize MK3 for the characters it introduced in the 2nd MK Movie, including a NEW Sub-Zero, Noob Saibot, a female version of Kintaro and Goro, and Kitana’s mother. Stick with MKII, it’s hell-a fun compared to it’s sequels that follow the same engine on the SNES/Genesis systems.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
A much different version from the Super NES and (bastardized) NES version. Instead of just a round-robbin of fights, this actually tries to make a storyline around it. You select one of the TMNT or their friends, and battle it out en route to a series of boss battles, one being a Triceraton, most famous for their involvement in the original TMNT Comics. Way too tough of a game, and the bosses are even harder, if that’s even possible to say. Stick with the Super NES version, which features random involvements of Chrome Dome, Armageddon, and the Rat King.
4. Sonic The Hedgehog:
The original from a long line of video games in the series. You control Sonic, who is a Hedgehog (no shit). Your mission is to save the world and all your friends from the Evil Dr. Robotnik and his cohorts of machines and morons. Known for the rapid speed of Sonic and the distinctive levels, but also the most difficult of the series. The game would be improved upon with a much more friendly difficult setting, plus the eventual debuts of side-kick Tails and the other Hedgehog, Knuckles.
5. Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster’s Hidden Treasure
For a children’s television show transferred into video games, the TT series released several successful and entertaining video games, and by this point, was breaking off from traditional games by releasing ACME All-Stars and Wacky Sports Challenge. Anyway, this game is this game, and it follows the same formula as Mario games. Enter a stage at a certain location, beat it, go to the next, beat the boss, then go to the next level with a whole batch of stages. It’s better than it sounds, and includes all the Tiny Toon Characters we all know and love. Your mission, is of course, to stop the evil Montana Max from taking over Acme Acres.
6. Eternal Champions:
Never played it, don’t remember buying it, so let’s go to the next game. According to the morons at GameFAQs.com, it’s a pretty good game, but going by the illustration and the manual, it looks like a Street Fighter rip-off to me.
7. Super Battleship:
The Classic Naval Combat Game, so says the box art. We all know how the game works. You and an opponent set up five ships, including a Destroyer, Submarine, and of course, Battleship, then take turns blindly trying to make a hit. The first person to sink the other person’s ships wins. That’s how this video game works. You take turns hitting, and so on and so forth.
8. Jurassic Park:
Another game I bought for like $5, but I think I’ve only played it once. I think you have the option of controlling a human character or a Raptor, which is a unique feature. The graphics are solid, and so is the music. Don’t rmemeber much else, but it sounds like another good game I haven’t bothered to try and sit through.
And now it’s time for the SPORTS GAMES!
9. World Series Baseball – I think this is the 1994 Roster. I remember only playing seasons with the Florida Marlins and New York Yankees, but eventually the save feature suddenly shut down, so the game is worthless now. Most notable about the game is the monotone announcer, who sounds like an even more robotic version of Vin Scully. “Lea-ding off… num-ber for-ty-two. He is… 1 for 4… for the game.”
10. World Seris Baseball 1996 – Same style of the game as the previous with improved graphics and roster changes. I think there’s a bug in the system. If you used Andy Pettitte and through a certain pitch to the same location, you can never get touched. I actually threw a perfect game with 27 K’s with that strategy.
11. Triple Play ’96 – Same rosters, but much more difficult to control, and hitting home runs is a bitch.
12. NFL Football ’94 Starring Joe Montana – The graphics are big and bold, but there’s another bug in this game. When rushing, if you can break away, you can never be touched. For reference, I rushed for a Touchdown with Rodney Hampton, but before scoring, I just kept running back and forth for 14-MINUTES, not getting touched, using evasive moves to avoid the defense. REALLY lame. The passing in the game is hella’ hard, but it doesn’t matter.
13. NFL Madden ’95 – Your typical Madden game. The key entertainment is simulating through a season and the playoffs. For fun reference, in the HUNDREDS of seasons I’ve done, the Cleveland Browns have never finished with a winning record, and of course never made the playoffs.
14. NBA Live ’97 – Entertaining game with the rosters from the 1996-97 Off-Season. You can adjust the rosters to your liking, which wasn’t a normal part of video games back then. You either had to settle with your team or never play it period. I think I once beat a team 130-40, so you can guess how tough the A1 is.
15. NHL Hockey – No season is given, but the Tampa Bay Lightning aren’t included, so draw your own conclusion. The Devils also have green in their jerseys still. You can play a season or Playoff run, among other things. Fun game, but the NHL games got much better by 1994-95.
16. FIFA International Soccer – Traditional soccer game. Tough against the REAL teams like Argentina or Brazil, a cake-walk against the second rate teams. I always played as Italy or the United States, so I don’t know how hard it was to win with the even crappier teams than the USA.
Games missing from collection: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic & Knuckles, Altered Beast for SMS. I also didn’t comment on the two built-in games for the SMS.
Sega Master System:
1. Double Dragon:
The classic arcade beat-em-up. You control one of two “brothers” with goofy names, fighting an evil gang that kidnapped your girlfriend. Why not just call the Cops? I’d assume it would be a lot easier. The shortest game of the series, with only about 6 levels to over-come. Outside of bashing people with Kung-Fu, you can also pick up weapons dropped, including daggers and a whip. S&M! Pretty good game overall, but much better with a second player, since the difficulty was a bit too much.
2. Penguin Land
Basically a puzzle game. You must guide a Penguin and it’s egg down the screen, avoiding vultures, grizzly bears, and various other traps that can destroy your egg. You keep doing this for 60 levels or so. You can also create your own level and attempt to beat it, which is always fun. Just make sure not to set up a booby trap that is impossible to get by. I don’t think a sequel was ever made, and don’t think it was ever converted to the Nintendo Entertainment System, either.
3. Rocky
Yes, THAT Rocky. The guy who beat up black people and foreigners to be the best in the World. I picked this up for $5 at a Mom & Pop rental store I used to frequent a few years back. VERY Short game, though. You train, then fight Apollo Creed, train, fight Clubber Lang, train, and finally fight Ivan Drago. Each fight requires a different strategy. With Creed, you can just go in and bash him up. Lang is weak to body blows, and Drago is impossible to beat. I always get KO’ed by the 7th Round.
4. Walter Payton Football
Your typical football game for the time frame. The color scheme is all wrong for every team, no players are given names, and the view is from high above, and everyone looks like a spider rushing up and down the field. The only worthwhile part of the game is the fact it’s guy Walter Payton on the cover. Everything else is bust. See also: NFL for NES.
5. Wonder Boy III: The Dragon’s Trap
Probably the greatest game in the “history” of the Sega Master System. You control “Wonder Boy”, who is on the verge of destroying The Mekka Dragon. Before the Dragon dies, he “curses” Hu-Man (yes, I’m serious), turning him into Lizard Man. From there, you tansform into Mouse-Man, Piranna-Man, Lion-Man, and Hawk-Man en route to breaking the curse of the Vampire Dragon, hidden high above in the skies. Almost like the Legend of Zelda, except in side scrolling form. You must roam the land through various areas, some only attainable by certain characters (underwater is best suited for Pirrana Man, Mouse-Man can climb through small openings, etyc.) collecting armor, weapons, and money along the way.
Sega Genesis:
1. Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition
I’m sure everyone is familiar with the Street Fighter II game… and if you aren’t, where the fuck have you been since 1992? For those who DON’T know, you control one of various characters from around the world in an ultimate competition to see who’s the greatest fighter in the world. Selectable characters in the original game are Ryu (pronunciation varies, from “Roo”, to “Ree-oo”, but not “Rye-U”), Ken Masters, E. Honda, Dhalsim, Guile, Chun-Li, Blanka, and Zangief, with the bosses being M. Bison, Balrog, Vega, and Sagat (pronounced Sa-GOT, not as in Bob Sagat). In this version of many many many others, you can play as everyone, for those who dreamed of being one of the big bad bosses.
2. Mortal Kombat 3:
An apparent improvement over Mortal Kombat II, featuring a whole batch of new characters and bosses. However, I remember this game being a bit harder than the first and second, with a much faster engine and tougher A1, and a marked difficulty in pulling off a Fatality. You’re only given about 3-seconds to pull one off, or your opponent just dies without any fun. Some may recognize MK3 for the characters it introduced in the 2nd MK Movie, including a NEW Sub-Zero, Noob Saibot, a female version of Kintaro and Goro, and Kitana’s mother. Stick with MKII, it’s hell-a fun compared to it’s sequels that follow the same engine on the SNES/Genesis systems.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
A much different version from the Super NES and (bastardized) NES version. Instead of just a round-robbin of fights, this actually tries to make a storyline around it. You select one of the TMNT or their friends, and battle it out en route to a series of boss battles, one being a Triceraton, most famous for their involvement in the original TMNT Comics. Way too tough of a game, and the bosses are even harder, if that’s even possible to say. Stick with the Super NES version, which features random involvements of Chrome Dome, Armageddon, and the Rat King.
4. Sonic The Hedgehog:
The original from a long line of video games in the series. You control Sonic, who is a Hedgehog (no shit). Your mission is to save the world and all your friends from the Evil Dr. Robotnik and his cohorts of machines and morons. Known for the rapid speed of Sonic and the distinctive levels, but also the most difficult of the series. The game would be improved upon with a much more friendly difficult setting, plus the eventual debuts of side-kick Tails and the other Hedgehog, Knuckles.
5. Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster’s Hidden Treasure
For a children’s television show transferred into video games, the TT series released several successful and entertaining video games, and by this point, was breaking off from traditional games by releasing ACME All-Stars and Wacky Sports Challenge. Anyway, this game is this game, and it follows the same formula as Mario games. Enter a stage at a certain location, beat it, go to the next, beat the boss, then go to the next level with a whole batch of stages. It’s better than it sounds, and includes all the Tiny Toon Characters we all know and love. Your mission, is of course, to stop the evil Montana Max from taking over Acme Acres.
6. Eternal Champions:
Never played it, don’t remember buying it, so let’s go to the next game. According to the morons at GameFAQs.com, it’s a pretty good game, but going by the illustration and the manual, it looks like a Street Fighter rip-off to me.
7. Super Battleship:
The Classic Naval Combat Game, so says the box art. We all know how the game works. You and an opponent set up five ships, including a Destroyer, Submarine, and of course, Battleship, then take turns blindly trying to make a hit. The first person to sink the other person’s ships wins. That’s how this video game works. You take turns hitting, and so on and so forth.
8. Jurassic Park:
Another game I bought for like $5, but I think I’ve only played it once. I think you have the option of controlling a human character or a Raptor, which is a unique feature. The graphics are solid, and so is the music. Don’t rmemeber much else, but it sounds like another good game I haven’t bothered to try and sit through.
And now it’s time for the SPORTS GAMES!
9. World Series Baseball – I think this is the 1994 Roster. I remember only playing seasons with the Florida Marlins and New York Yankees, but eventually the save feature suddenly shut down, so the game is worthless now. Most notable about the game is the monotone announcer, who sounds like an even more robotic version of Vin Scully. “Lea-ding off… num-ber for-ty-two. He is… 1 for 4… for the game.”
10. World Seris Baseball 1996 – Same style of the game as the previous with improved graphics and roster changes. I think there’s a bug in the system. If you used Andy Pettitte and through a certain pitch to the same location, you can never get touched. I actually threw a perfect game with 27 K’s with that strategy.
11. Triple Play ’96 – Same rosters, but much more difficult to control, and hitting home runs is a bitch.
12. NFL Football ’94 Starring Joe Montana – The graphics are big and bold, but there’s another bug in this game. When rushing, if you can break away, you can never be touched. For reference, I rushed for a Touchdown with Rodney Hampton, but before scoring, I just kept running back and forth for 14-MINUTES, not getting touched, using evasive moves to avoid the defense. REALLY lame. The passing in the game is hella’ hard, but it doesn’t matter.
13. NFL Madden ’95 – Your typical Madden game. The key entertainment is simulating through a season and the playoffs. For fun reference, in the HUNDREDS of seasons I’ve done, the Cleveland Browns have never finished with a winning record, and of course never made the playoffs.
14. NBA Live ’97 – Entertaining game with the rosters from the 1996-97 Off-Season. You can adjust the rosters to your liking, which wasn’t a normal part of video games back then. You either had to settle with your team or never play it period. I think I once beat a team 130-40, so you can guess how tough the A1 is.
15. NHL Hockey – No season is given, but the Tampa Bay Lightning aren’t included, so draw your own conclusion. The Devils also have green in their jerseys still. You can play a season or Playoff run, among other things. Fun game, but the NHL games got much better by 1994-95.
16. FIFA International Soccer – Traditional soccer game. Tough against the REAL teams like Argentina or Brazil, a cake-walk against the second rate teams. I always played as Italy or the United States, so I don’t know how hard it was to win with the even crappier teams than the USA.
Games missing from collection: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic & Knuckles, Altered Beast for SMS. I also didn’t comment on the two built-in games for the SMS.
2 comments:
You better come back here or risk getting another postcard in the mail from yours truly.
I finally saw this post, three years later. How awkward.
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