You all know the drill. I make dumbass comments about all the games from the Super Nintendo I currently have in my possession and try to remember back when I thought some of these turds were actually good games.
1. Bulls vs. Blazers and the NBA Playoffs
Style: Sports. Back in the day when basketball was good, and video game companies screwed you out of half the teams in the league, we had this... an NBA game containing the 16 teams that made the playoffs in 1992, and actually included the real rosters, back when most games had made up players or just numbers to represent them. Without looking, I think representing the East is New York, Chicago, Cleveland, Indiana, Boston, Miami, New Jersey, and Detroit. From the West, Portland, Los Angeles (Clippers), Utah, Los Angeles (Lakers), San Antonio, Phoenix, Seattle, and Golden State. Yes, the Clips' and Warriors made it to the playoffs the same year. Also, in exhibition mode, you can choose to play as the East and West All-Stars. The only notable difference is the fact that Magic Johnson is on the All-Star team, but not in the regular rosters. A nice touch is the fact that the players are a bit distinctive. Centers are lumbering, and usually terrible shots outside the paint. Forwards have varied skills, and the guards have good shooting ability, but lack any domination under the rim. On another note, the Boston court is the most difficult to adjust to, because of my pattern for shots, and the unusual floor pattern. 8 for 10.
2. Cybernator
Style: Platform/Action. And that's all I know. My brother traded NHL '95 back in the day for this, and I've never played it. Fucking bastard (literally)... I LOVED NHL '95. I enjoyed creating my own players, and giving them funny names. I remember one time having a line that included King Tutt, Pee-Wee Herman, and Hulk Hogan. Yes, I'm a very sad, sad, sad person. N/R
3. Donkey Kong Country
Style: Platform/Adventure. Despite the obvious cheese factor in the names of some characters (the total dependance on over-using names with "K", and the boss, King K. Rool), a classic game that introduced graphics that have never been seen on a SNES before. Throw in simple controls, addictive gameplay, and a wide range of zones, enemies, and hidden treasures, it'll take a long time to beat this game 100%. On a personal note, I don't think I've ever done higher than 89%, and I've never used cheats to find some of the Bonus Areas. As for storyline/plot, you're Donkey Kong, and someone has stolen your stash... of banana's. You enlist the help of young Diddy Kong, a much quicker (but weak) ape to help you along the way, as well as the services of Cranky Kong, Candy Kong, and Funky Kong, to help in various other ways. Travel through seven lands, and you'll reach the boss battle against King K. Rool, an over-weight reptile that wears a crown on his head, as if he were the Burger King... K. Rool. 9 for 10.
4. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Style: Platform/Adventure. Obviously, the sequel to the previous game listed. For the most part, the characters remain in tact, with a few minor alterations, and of course a new batch of characters is created (Cat O'Nine Tails!?). Gameplay is also much smoother than the first, and we are treated to some awesome levels, like the roller coaster rides. This time, it's Donkey Kong who is kidnapped, and it's up to Diddy and his new pal, Dixie Kong, to save the big gorilla from the clutches of King K. Rool, who appears to have survived the attack from the last game. With all new locations, more bonus areas, and some new friends to help you along the way (and new mini-games with other Kong's), this is a worthy sequel to a ground breaking game. The only downside of this one is the fact you can't play as Donkey Kong, since he doesn't figure into the game into the final level, which happens to be a major bitch to get through. I think it's safe to say that while the original was great, this one is even better. 10 for 10.
5. Frogger
Style: Platform/Puzzle. It's Frogger... you know the deal. Frog has to cross the street, busy with millions of trucks and cars going well beyond the speed limit and not a cop in site (must be Boston), then you have to cross a river with a bunch of logs, crocodiles, turtles, and other pieces of crap. One wrong move, and you go whammo. As usual in these games, the more levels you go through, the harder it becomes to get all of your frogs across the way without dying too much. And that's pretty much all there is. If you've played one version of Frogger, you've played them all. 6 for 10.
6. Monopoly
Style: Board game. For the love of fuck's sake, it's Monopoly. If you don't know what Monopoly is, you've obviously lived a sheltered life. Everyone, in some way shape or form, has played one of the countless versions of Monopoly, be it Monopoly, Monopoly Jr., Star Wars Minopoly, Simpsons Monopoly, etc. etc. The goal is to obtain various property, ranging from the ghetto's of Baltic Avenue, to the millioniare owned Park Place and Boardwalk. Throw in the Water and Electric Companies, and a set of Railroad stations, and you too can dominate the world, circa 1932. Games will no doubt last at least an hour, depending on how many players are chosen.
7. Mortal Kombat II
Style: Fighting. The sequel to Mortal Kombat (duh!), with new characters, much improved graphics, new arenas, and new bosses. Among the fighters are Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Baraka, Malina, Kitana, Shang Tsung, Raiden, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Johnny Cage, Jaxx, and Reptile, with new bosses Shao Kahn and Kintaro (the... uh... cousin of Goro?). With cleaner graphics, special moves, and especially Fatalities, look much better, and more creative to boot. Who doesn't love knocking people off cliffs, seeing their heads splatter against concrete, or knocking them into acid pits and watching their skeleton's floating around? And people say video games is the reason for all the violence in the world... video games are for taking out frustration in fantasy land, not learning violence from it. Fucking dicks. 9 for 10. Would've been 10 for 10, if not for the arcade version being a bit better, for obvious reasons.
8. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
Style: Sports/Arcade. A memorable game for one reason... Acclaim made a game that was worth more than half-of-a-shit. Although an addictive game, the cartoony arcade style hasn't aged well with me. You play through tournament mode or whatever as a team of your choice (released before the expansion teams of Toronto and Vancouver). Each "team" consists of 2 guys, with an alternate playerto substitute when another is tired between quarters. For example, the Bulls have B.J. Armstrong, Scottie Pippen, and Tony Kukoc. Pippen/Armstrong are the default starters, but after a quarter, you can put Kukoc in for either of them. For the heck of it, the NYK are represented by Patrick Ewing, Charles Oakley, and John Starks... and look at the T'Wolves of old: Isiah Rider, Christian Laettner, and Doug West. What a lineup. The good news: Once you beat all 26 teams, the rosters "expand" with 2 more players I think. Still too cartoony for me, especially since you can unlock several mascots and even Bill Clinton with certain codes.
9. Road Riot 4WD
Style: Racing. One of the many-many-many-many-many-many-many junky racing games that really have nothing to them. An open road, the occasional cars, some road hazzards, and a timer. There were about 500 of these damn games released on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, and this one isn't much different, since it was released early in the run of Super NES (a copyright of 1991 printed on the back). I've never really bothered to play this one much, since I got it in a trade for another game that I wouldn't want to mention. N/R
10. Scooby-Doo Mystery
Styles: Platform/Puzzle. Everyone is familiar with Scooby-Doo. A talking dog with the munchies, along with beatnik sidekick Shaggy, fag-scarf wearing Fred, and the bitches of the group, Daphne and Velma. Their a bunch of meddling kids who talk to a dog and get high all the time. Much like the TV series', this game is centered around various "mysteries" at a abandoned ship, a fun park, an out-of-the-way gas station, and a haunted house. I say mysteries because there is no real mystery. Things just happen. Still, a somewhat addictive games with several mini-games, like whack-a-monster, build a sandwich, and evil slides. Good to pass a few hours, but definitely not a great game due to it being very short (4 levels, and the 1st is basically an introduction level). 7 for 10.
11. Spider-Man/X-Men: Arcade Revenge
Style: Adventure/Platform. This game sucks. End of story. 1 for 10.
12. Street Combat:
Company: IRem Entertainment (say it with me... "WHO!?!"). Style: Fighting.
To sum it up in as few words as humanly possible, a major rip-off of popular fighting games of the day, like Street Fight and Mortal Kombat... and if you combine the two, you have Street Kombat. Or Mortal Fight, but that doesn't sound as interesting. Not only is this a bad knock-off, but everything else about the game sucks. There's barely any sound and music other than an ocassionally weak grunt, the controls are terrible (when did jumping go from a directional button to "X" and "A"?), and don't get me started on the graphics. In case anyone here gives half of a damn (and judging by the fact GameFAQs has nearly NOTHING about it on their site), here is the list of "fighters" you can face... Tyrone, Dozo, G.I. Jim, Helmut, Lita, and the big bad boss... C.J. Yeah, not only does this game suck, but the names suck too. I'm sure everyone can identify who is what. Tyrone? He's got to be black. Dozo? Hmm.... G.I. Jim? Helmut? Yikes, this is about as creative as the birth of Mr. Pibb. This game gets a flat out 0 for 10, and if it were possible, even less than that.
13. Super Mario All-Stars:
Styles: Platform. A complete collection of the Mario Brothers games from the NES. Super Mario Bros, Mario Bros. 2, Mario Bros, 3., and the Lost Levels are represented, and in top of the line SNES graphics, too. The Lost Levels, for the unfamiliar, was the original sequel to Mario Brothers, but because of the insanely high difficulty, the game was scrapped for a U.S. release, and instead a japanese game was changed around, adding Mario sprites, and called it Mario Brothers 2. Also, for the first time, each game has a save feature, for those of us who really can't stand having to play a game for 8 hours straight or risk permanent damage leaving a clunker system on day-and-night for God knows how long. 10 for 10 overall, and probably the same for each game included, except for Lost Levels, which is just a pain in the ASS.
14. Super Mario Kart:
Style: Racing. It wasn't the first, but Mario Kart was one of the most memorable and ground breaking "kart" games on the SNES, along with the classic F-Zero. I'm not 100% sure, but this might be the 1st time that Mario characters were used in a game other than the normal game style. Eight characters race for some trophies and stuff... the racers include Mario (duh), Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, Yoshi, Bowser, Donkey Kong Jr., and a Koopa Troopa. There's also plenty of race tracks, including races on the beach Bowser's castle, a Haunted "House", mud pits, and best and most difficult of all, Rainbow Road (with a kickass tune to boot). On top of normal gameplay, you have the choice to play 2P mode in a Battle format, where you and a friend try your best in knocking the shit out of each other with various weapons in exclusive locations. 14 years later, and this game still is awesome to pop in now and then (and can't forget the insane difficulty on the hardest mode). 10 for 10.
15. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Styles: RPG/Adventure. It's Mario R-P-fuckin'-G. I don't have to say anything here. 1000000 for 1000000, and if you need an explanation, go fuck yourself.
16. Super Mario World
Style: Platform. Mario makes his jump to the SNES and back to the dinosaur days, with colorful graphics, awesome levels, and a whole new group of enemies and friends.... okay, just one friend. Yoshi, a dinosaur with an appetite for destruction. King Koopa and his Koopa Kids have returned and stolen the eggs of other dinosaurs. Mario must bust through all their castles, through montains, mines, sunken ships, and donut lands, in order to rescue them all... and I still have yet to see Torpedo Ted in this fucking game! Anyway, my favorite level is probably the Sunken Ship. For whatever reason, I kept thinking it was one of the ships from Mario Bros. 3 (and probably is, but I forgot where I read that). In a move that no longer happens today, Mario World was released along with the actual system. If not, that would've been another $70 out of everyones pocket. 10 for 10.
17. Super Punch-Out!!:
Style: Boxing. After seven long years since the original release of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out on the NES, we finally got the sequel. Sure, the style was a bit different, and some of the boxers were just too out-there to be appreciated, but it's still a pretty good attempt. Instead of Three excelerated speed rounds, there's only one normal length one. The three knockdown rule is in effect again, but if you go the distance, you automatically lose. And Super Mario is NOT the referee here, no doubt still celebrating the success of... well, every Mario game ever made at that point, except for Mario is Missing.
Anyway, you play as... uh... YOU (Little Mac must've retired), and you have to fight your way through FOUR circuits, with four fighters in each (no repeated fighters, either). The Minor Circuit is home to Champion Bald Bull (who appears to have lost 20 fights in a row since the original Punch-Out), Piston Hurricane (Cuba), Bear Hugger (Canada), and Glass Joe's successer, Gabby Joe (who's only victory was against Glass Joe, and obviously French). The Major Circuit includes Mr. Sandman (Champ), Dragon Chan (Hong Kong), Bob Charlie (Jamaica), and Masked Muscle (Mexico). The World Circuit features Super MachoMan (Champ), Aran Ryan (Ireland), Heike Kagero (uh... Japan), and Mad Clown (Italy... and obviously a Pagliacci imitation... I think). Finally, the SPECIAL CIRCUIT, only available once you go undefeated in all other circuits. Here you'll see Narcis Prince (England), Hoy Quarlow (China), and the Bruiser Brothers, Rick and Nick (obvious Mike Tyson rip-offs from Parts Unknown). 8 for 10.
18. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time
Platform: Action. The final TMNT video game released for years under this style. Some may confuse this with the TMNT III movie (a damn shame, since that movie sucked and had production values of a 3rd grade play), but it's basically just the plot of time travel (instigated by Shredder instead of an "egg timer"), but with the TMNT comic characters thrown in as bosses, like Baxter Stockman (fly version), MetalHead, Slash, Rat King, Bebop and Rocksteady, Rahzar and Tokka, Krang, and of course, Super Shredder. Same gameplay as usual. Button mashing slice 'em-dice 'em action against a bunch of incompetant foot soldiers and various other, more difficult enemies, like those pizza monsters that pop out in the sewers. Another game that was a frequent rental for my family back in the day, and a classic to this day. Too bad the newer TMNT games couldn't follow the success of these, with choppy graphics, repetetive phrases, and just flat out boring gameplay. 10 for 10.
19. Tetris & Dr. Mario:
Style: Puzzle. Much like Frogger, if you've played one version of these games, you've played them all. Tetris is basically rearranging bricks so that you don't over-flow with them, and Dr. Mario is the same way, except you line up pills, by color (red, yellow, and blue in the color versions), to destroy the virtus'. Since when did Mario become a doctor anyway? First he's a carpenter, then a plumber. Two jobs that don't exactly scream college education. Then suddenly he's a DOCTOR? Come the fuck on... keep it real man! What next, Surfer Dude Mario? This is the Mario Brothers, not the TMNT figurines of the old days. On a random Tetris note, in this game, the highest total I got to was (I think) 159, which was INSANELY fast. My nerves were totally shot after that one.
20. Tetris 2
Style: Puzzle. Much like previous Tetris games, you have to line up colored and oddly shaped blocks to erase them from the screen, but there's a twist. This time, you line up the blocks in certain spots, rather than just in one straight line, no matter the color. On top of that is a new puzzle mode, where you only get a set number of moves to clear the entire screen, otherwise you fail and must do it again. And if you sucked at it like me, that again can be repeated a few dozen times before a remote control is slammed into the ground or against the wall. 7 for 10.
21. WWF Super WrestleMania:
Style: Sports. After four miserable attempts of video games on NES by Acclaim, they made their first on the SNES with this, which could only be described as a polished up piece of shit. The roster contains 10-wrestlers, including Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, The Undertaker, Jake Roberts, Sid Justice, Ted Dibiase, Hawk, Animal, Earthquake, and Typhoon. Game modes include 1-on-1, 2-on-2, and my favorite, 4-on-4 Survivor Series Match. My brother and me played this game for hours back in the day when we thought it was good... but my God, after playing Royal Rumble, this one sucked dick. Sure, the roster is nice and features all the top names and the Natural Disasters, but the controls stink, there's ZERO sound, and the kicking sounds like flatulence. Add in the fact you can't choose your opponents when facing the CPU, and you lose more fun points. Thank God once Rumble came out, the WWF made very little sucky ass games again. 4 for 10.
22. X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse:
Style: Action. Released by Capcom, that's a good sign this game is fucking awesome. Throw in the gameplay of Double Dragon and TMNT, and you have yourself a winner. You get to choose to play as Wolverine, the Beast, Gambit, Cyclops, and Psylocke through exclusive levels for all of them. Each fighter has specific moves and special. For instance, Wolverine can use his claws to climb up walls and fend off enemies at the same time. On the other hand of things, this game is pretty damn hard, and you only get a few lives before having to start all over again. I've never gone all the way with it, but I'm sure it's probably worth all the foul language that comes with playing it. 9 for 10. (Should I mention the awful Marvel's X-Men game for NES released by, I think, Acclaim?)
Games removed from list due to broken down, sold, or traded over the years: Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (thank God for GBA release), WWF Royal Rumble, Beavis & Butt-Head (Genesis version is better), Yoshi's Island, Super Empire Strikes Back (good, but hard), Super Return of the Jedi (good, but too easy, but the final level is quite awesome/hard for once).
1. Bulls vs. Blazers and the NBA Playoffs
Style: Sports. Back in the day when basketball was good, and video game companies screwed you out of half the teams in the league, we had this... an NBA game containing the 16 teams that made the playoffs in 1992, and actually included the real rosters, back when most games had made up players or just numbers to represent them. Without looking, I think representing the East is New York, Chicago, Cleveland, Indiana, Boston, Miami, New Jersey, and Detroit. From the West, Portland, Los Angeles (Clippers), Utah, Los Angeles (Lakers), San Antonio, Phoenix, Seattle, and Golden State. Yes, the Clips' and Warriors made it to the playoffs the same year. Also, in exhibition mode, you can choose to play as the East and West All-Stars. The only notable difference is the fact that Magic Johnson is on the All-Star team, but not in the regular rosters. A nice touch is the fact that the players are a bit distinctive. Centers are lumbering, and usually terrible shots outside the paint. Forwards have varied skills, and the guards have good shooting ability, but lack any domination under the rim. On another note, the Boston court is the most difficult to adjust to, because of my pattern for shots, and the unusual floor pattern. 8 for 10.
2. Cybernator
Style: Platform/Action. And that's all I know. My brother traded NHL '95 back in the day for this, and I've never played it. Fucking bastard (literally)... I LOVED NHL '95. I enjoyed creating my own players, and giving them funny names. I remember one time having a line that included King Tutt, Pee-Wee Herman, and Hulk Hogan. Yes, I'm a very sad, sad, sad person. N/R
3. Donkey Kong Country
Style: Platform/Adventure. Despite the obvious cheese factor in the names of some characters (the total dependance on over-using names with "K", and the boss, King K. Rool), a classic game that introduced graphics that have never been seen on a SNES before. Throw in simple controls, addictive gameplay, and a wide range of zones, enemies, and hidden treasures, it'll take a long time to beat this game 100%. On a personal note, I don't think I've ever done higher than 89%, and I've never used cheats to find some of the Bonus Areas. As for storyline/plot, you're Donkey Kong, and someone has stolen your stash... of banana's. You enlist the help of young Diddy Kong, a much quicker (but weak) ape to help you along the way, as well as the services of Cranky Kong, Candy Kong, and Funky Kong, to help in various other ways. Travel through seven lands, and you'll reach the boss battle against King K. Rool, an over-weight reptile that wears a crown on his head, as if he were the Burger King... K. Rool. 9 for 10.
4. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Style: Platform/Adventure. Obviously, the sequel to the previous game listed. For the most part, the characters remain in tact, with a few minor alterations, and of course a new batch of characters is created (Cat O'Nine Tails!?). Gameplay is also much smoother than the first, and we are treated to some awesome levels, like the roller coaster rides. This time, it's Donkey Kong who is kidnapped, and it's up to Diddy and his new pal, Dixie Kong, to save the big gorilla from the clutches of King K. Rool, who appears to have survived the attack from the last game. With all new locations, more bonus areas, and some new friends to help you along the way (and new mini-games with other Kong's), this is a worthy sequel to a ground breaking game. The only downside of this one is the fact you can't play as Donkey Kong, since he doesn't figure into the game into the final level, which happens to be a major bitch to get through. I think it's safe to say that while the original was great, this one is even better. 10 for 10.
5. Frogger
Style: Platform/Puzzle. It's Frogger... you know the deal. Frog has to cross the street, busy with millions of trucks and cars going well beyond the speed limit and not a cop in site (must be Boston), then you have to cross a river with a bunch of logs, crocodiles, turtles, and other pieces of crap. One wrong move, and you go whammo. As usual in these games, the more levels you go through, the harder it becomes to get all of your frogs across the way without dying too much. And that's pretty much all there is. If you've played one version of Frogger, you've played them all. 6 for 10.
6. Monopoly
Style: Board game. For the love of fuck's sake, it's Monopoly. If you don't know what Monopoly is, you've obviously lived a sheltered life. Everyone, in some way shape or form, has played one of the countless versions of Monopoly, be it Monopoly, Monopoly Jr., Star Wars Minopoly, Simpsons Monopoly, etc. etc. The goal is to obtain various property, ranging from the ghetto's of Baltic Avenue, to the millioniare owned Park Place and Boardwalk. Throw in the Water and Electric Companies, and a set of Railroad stations, and you too can dominate the world, circa 1932. Games will no doubt last at least an hour, depending on how many players are chosen.
7. Mortal Kombat II
Style: Fighting. The sequel to Mortal Kombat (duh!), with new characters, much improved graphics, new arenas, and new bosses. Among the fighters are Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Baraka, Malina, Kitana, Shang Tsung, Raiden, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Johnny Cage, Jaxx, and Reptile, with new bosses Shao Kahn and Kintaro (the... uh... cousin of Goro?). With cleaner graphics, special moves, and especially Fatalities, look much better, and more creative to boot. Who doesn't love knocking people off cliffs, seeing their heads splatter against concrete, or knocking them into acid pits and watching their skeleton's floating around? And people say video games is the reason for all the violence in the world... video games are for taking out frustration in fantasy land, not learning violence from it. Fucking dicks. 9 for 10. Would've been 10 for 10, if not for the arcade version being a bit better, for obvious reasons.
8. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
Style: Sports/Arcade. A memorable game for one reason... Acclaim made a game that was worth more than half-of-a-shit. Although an addictive game, the cartoony arcade style hasn't aged well with me. You play through tournament mode or whatever as a team of your choice (released before the expansion teams of Toronto and Vancouver). Each "team" consists of 2 guys, with an alternate playerto substitute when another is tired between quarters. For example, the Bulls have B.J. Armstrong, Scottie Pippen, and Tony Kukoc. Pippen/Armstrong are the default starters, but after a quarter, you can put Kukoc in for either of them. For the heck of it, the NYK are represented by Patrick Ewing, Charles Oakley, and John Starks... and look at the T'Wolves of old: Isiah Rider, Christian Laettner, and Doug West. What a lineup. The good news: Once you beat all 26 teams, the rosters "expand" with 2 more players I think. Still too cartoony for me, especially since you can unlock several mascots and even Bill Clinton with certain codes.
9. Road Riot 4WD
Style: Racing. One of the many-many-many-many-many-many-many junky racing games that really have nothing to them. An open road, the occasional cars, some road hazzards, and a timer. There were about 500 of these damn games released on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, and this one isn't much different, since it was released early in the run of Super NES (a copyright of 1991 printed on the back). I've never really bothered to play this one much, since I got it in a trade for another game that I wouldn't want to mention. N/R
10. Scooby-Doo Mystery
Styles: Platform/Puzzle. Everyone is familiar with Scooby-Doo. A talking dog with the munchies, along with beatnik sidekick Shaggy, fag-scarf wearing Fred, and the bitches of the group, Daphne and Velma. Their a bunch of meddling kids who talk to a dog and get high all the time. Much like the TV series', this game is centered around various "mysteries" at a abandoned ship, a fun park, an out-of-the-way gas station, and a haunted house. I say mysteries because there is no real mystery. Things just happen. Still, a somewhat addictive games with several mini-games, like whack-a-monster, build a sandwich, and evil slides. Good to pass a few hours, but definitely not a great game due to it being very short (4 levels, and the 1st is basically an introduction level). 7 for 10.
11. Spider-Man/X-Men: Arcade Revenge
Style: Adventure/Platform. This game sucks. End of story. 1 for 10.
12. Street Combat:
Company: IRem Entertainment (say it with me... "WHO!?!"). Style: Fighting.
To sum it up in as few words as humanly possible, a major rip-off of popular fighting games of the day, like Street Fight and Mortal Kombat... and if you combine the two, you have Street Kombat. Or Mortal Fight, but that doesn't sound as interesting. Not only is this a bad knock-off, but everything else about the game sucks. There's barely any sound and music other than an ocassionally weak grunt, the controls are terrible (when did jumping go from a directional button to "X" and "A"?), and don't get me started on the graphics. In case anyone here gives half of a damn (and judging by the fact GameFAQs has nearly NOTHING about it on their site), here is the list of "fighters" you can face... Tyrone, Dozo, G.I. Jim, Helmut, Lita, and the big bad boss... C.J. Yeah, not only does this game suck, but the names suck too. I'm sure everyone can identify who is what. Tyrone? He's got to be black. Dozo? Hmm.... G.I. Jim? Helmut? Yikes, this is about as creative as the birth of Mr. Pibb. This game gets a flat out 0 for 10, and if it were possible, even less than that.
13. Super Mario All-Stars:
Styles: Platform. A complete collection of the Mario Brothers games from the NES. Super Mario Bros, Mario Bros. 2, Mario Bros, 3., and the Lost Levels are represented, and in top of the line SNES graphics, too. The Lost Levels, for the unfamiliar, was the original sequel to Mario Brothers, but because of the insanely high difficulty, the game was scrapped for a U.S. release, and instead a japanese game was changed around, adding Mario sprites, and called it Mario Brothers 2. Also, for the first time, each game has a save feature, for those of us who really can't stand having to play a game for 8 hours straight or risk permanent damage leaving a clunker system on day-and-night for God knows how long. 10 for 10 overall, and probably the same for each game included, except for Lost Levels, which is just a pain in the ASS.
14. Super Mario Kart:
Style: Racing. It wasn't the first, but Mario Kart was one of the most memorable and ground breaking "kart" games on the SNES, along with the classic F-Zero. I'm not 100% sure, but this might be the 1st time that Mario characters were used in a game other than the normal game style. Eight characters race for some trophies and stuff... the racers include Mario (duh), Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, Yoshi, Bowser, Donkey Kong Jr., and a Koopa Troopa. There's also plenty of race tracks, including races on the beach Bowser's castle, a Haunted "House", mud pits, and best and most difficult of all, Rainbow Road (with a kickass tune to boot). On top of normal gameplay, you have the choice to play 2P mode in a Battle format, where you and a friend try your best in knocking the shit out of each other with various weapons in exclusive locations. 14 years later, and this game still is awesome to pop in now and then (and can't forget the insane difficulty on the hardest mode). 10 for 10.
15. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Styles: RPG/Adventure. It's Mario R-P-fuckin'-G. I don't have to say anything here. 1000000 for 1000000, and if you need an explanation, go fuck yourself.
16. Super Mario World
Style: Platform. Mario makes his jump to the SNES and back to the dinosaur days, with colorful graphics, awesome levels, and a whole new group of enemies and friends.... okay, just one friend. Yoshi, a dinosaur with an appetite for destruction. King Koopa and his Koopa Kids have returned and stolen the eggs of other dinosaurs. Mario must bust through all their castles, through montains, mines, sunken ships, and donut lands, in order to rescue them all... and I still have yet to see Torpedo Ted in this fucking game! Anyway, my favorite level is probably the Sunken Ship. For whatever reason, I kept thinking it was one of the ships from Mario Bros. 3 (and probably is, but I forgot where I read that). In a move that no longer happens today, Mario World was released along with the actual system. If not, that would've been another $70 out of everyones pocket. 10 for 10.
17. Super Punch-Out!!:
Style: Boxing. After seven long years since the original release of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out on the NES, we finally got the sequel. Sure, the style was a bit different, and some of the boxers were just too out-there to be appreciated, but it's still a pretty good attempt. Instead of Three excelerated speed rounds, there's only one normal length one. The three knockdown rule is in effect again, but if you go the distance, you automatically lose. And Super Mario is NOT the referee here, no doubt still celebrating the success of... well, every Mario game ever made at that point, except for Mario is Missing.
Anyway, you play as... uh... YOU (Little Mac must've retired), and you have to fight your way through FOUR circuits, with four fighters in each (no repeated fighters, either). The Minor Circuit is home to Champion Bald Bull (who appears to have lost 20 fights in a row since the original Punch-Out), Piston Hurricane (Cuba), Bear Hugger (Canada), and Glass Joe's successer, Gabby Joe (who's only victory was against Glass Joe, and obviously French). The Major Circuit includes Mr. Sandman (Champ), Dragon Chan (Hong Kong), Bob Charlie (Jamaica), and Masked Muscle (Mexico). The World Circuit features Super MachoMan (Champ), Aran Ryan (Ireland), Heike Kagero (uh... Japan), and Mad Clown (Italy... and obviously a Pagliacci imitation... I think). Finally, the SPECIAL CIRCUIT, only available once you go undefeated in all other circuits. Here you'll see Narcis Prince (England), Hoy Quarlow (China), and the Bruiser Brothers, Rick and Nick (obvious Mike Tyson rip-offs from Parts Unknown). 8 for 10.
18. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time
Platform: Action. The final TMNT video game released for years under this style. Some may confuse this with the TMNT III movie (a damn shame, since that movie sucked and had production values of a 3rd grade play), but it's basically just the plot of time travel (instigated by Shredder instead of an "egg timer"), but with the TMNT comic characters thrown in as bosses, like Baxter Stockman (fly version), MetalHead, Slash, Rat King, Bebop and Rocksteady, Rahzar and Tokka, Krang, and of course, Super Shredder. Same gameplay as usual. Button mashing slice 'em-dice 'em action against a bunch of incompetant foot soldiers and various other, more difficult enemies, like those pizza monsters that pop out in the sewers. Another game that was a frequent rental for my family back in the day, and a classic to this day. Too bad the newer TMNT games couldn't follow the success of these, with choppy graphics, repetetive phrases, and just flat out boring gameplay. 10 for 10.
19. Tetris & Dr. Mario:
Style: Puzzle. Much like Frogger, if you've played one version of these games, you've played them all. Tetris is basically rearranging bricks so that you don't over-flow with them, and Dr. Mario is the same way, except you line up pills, by color (red, yellow, and blue in the color versions), to destroy the virtus'. Since when did Mario become a doctor anyway? First he's a carpenter, then a plumber. Two jobs that don't exactly scream college education. Then suddenly he's a DOCTOR? Come the fuck on... keep it real man! What next, Surfer Dude Mario? This is the Mario Brothers, not the TMNT figurines of the old days. On a random Tetris note, in this game, the highest total I got to was (I think) 159, which was INSANELY fast. My nerves were totally shot after that one.
20. Tetris 2
Style: Puzzle. Much like previous Tetris games, you have to line up colored and oddly shaped blocks to erase them from the screen, but there's a twist. This time, you line up the blocks in certain spots, rather than just in one straight line, no matter the color. On top of that is a new puzzle mode, where you only get a set number of moves to clear the entire screen, otherwise you fail and must do it again. And if you sucked at it like me, that again can be repeated a few dozen times before a remote control is slammed into the ground or against the wall. 7 for 10.
21. WWF Super WrestleMania:
Style: Sports. After four miserable attempts of video games on NES by Acclaim, they made their first on the SNES with this, which could only be described as a polished up piece of shit. The roster contains 10-wrestlers, including Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, The Undertaker, Jake Roberts, Sid Justice, Ted Dibiase, Hawk, Animal, Earthquake, and Typhoon. Game modes include 1-on-1, 2-on-2, and my favorite, 4-on-4 Survivor Series Match. My brother and me played this game for hours back in the day when we thought it was good... but my God, after playing Royal Rumble, this one sucked dick. Sure, the roster is nice and features all the top names and the Natural Disasters, but the controls stink, there's ZERO sound, and the kicking sounds like flatulence. Add in the fact you can't choose your opponents when facing the CPU, and you lose more fun points. Thank God once Rumble came out, the WWF made very little sucky ass games again. 4 for 10.
22. X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse:
Style: Action. Released by Capcom, that's a good sign this game is fucking awesome. Throw in the gameplay of Double Dragon and TMNT, and you have yourself a winner. You get to choose to play as Wolverine, the Beast, Gambit, Cyclops, and Psylocke through exclusive levels for all of them. Each fighter has specific moves and special. For instance, Wolverine can use his claws to climb up walls and fend off enemies at the same time. On the other hand of things, this game is pretty damn hard, and you only get a few lives before having to start all over again. I've never gone all the way with it, but I'm sure it's probably worth all the foul language that comes with playing it. 9 for 10. (Should I mention the awful Marvel's X-Men game for NES released by, I think, Acclaim?)
Games removed from list due to broken down, sold, or traded over the years: Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (thank God for GBA release), WWF Royal Rumble, Beavis & Butt-Head (Genesis version is better), Yoshi's Island, Super Empire Strikes Back (good, but hard), Super Return of the Jedi (good, but too easy, but the final level is quite awesome/hard for once).
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